This online diary has ,albeit cryptically, documented the days when I was a young foolish little thing, with the very url of that being evidence. So, perhaps, and although I'm relatively young and technically still foolish and what not, just perhaps, I'm picking up my bags and leaving.
the days of my much-cherished youth has come and gone, and i sit here alone staring at the blank blank walls. because in my room many have come and gone, none has stayed; the characters in this play has constantly changed. am i be in constant pursuit of what has come to past? or do i have to chase after the present you? so awkward is the words we say and the things we do; we force ourselves back into the moulds of young fools. attempting is not key, but sincerity is all it needs to be. the probelm here is, its not you, but most surely me. i've walked away far too many times; let me return one more time to set us free.
do you remember when we played silly games at the back of the song tiao? when i drank close to 5 pints of water cause i was a lousy player? when we played bridge and tai dee every night? when i finally mastered the opening lines to qing tian on the guitar in 10days? when we danced our hearts out to 'worthy'? when we sat around the stone tables and chatted with the school girls in thachang withayakarn school? when we snuck off to the school canteen to get desert? when we switched shoes and limped around the whole day? when we got trashed and demolished by a one-man volleyball team? when we spent the entire night giggling and pouncing instantly at the same time when jennifer walked by? when we spoke in low low tones chitchatting through the night with one faulty torchlight? when we sat in the hall wrapping presents while i got to do the penning of the christmas song lyrics? when i skipped every brekkie but the first, and everyone had to drag me out of bed? when we sat through a grueling hour of keith autobiogrpahy part ONE? when we washed our jeans and socks with powder and sponges in the garden? when i watched you style keith's hair to no avail? when you slept one whole night under the synthesizer? when we rushed through the entire shopping mall in search for stuff to bring home? when we laughed at those silly and ridiculous rumours? when we hosted the christmas concert together? when you wrote goodbye notes to every single one of us? when i bawled like a baby at wat klang school? when we played scrabble under the dim light and thousands of insects got stuck in your hair? when we got delighted at the little makeshift stall opposite Kfc? when we sulkily arrvied at the airport, unwilling to depart? when we got tricked by somkiat and his amazing 'thailand's plastic manufacturing industry''? when i chased pong around just so the lesson would get started? when 'when the night has come' became an instant hit? when those girls went all giggly over you and you hid in the teachers' room? when we travelled into the market? when i tricked you into thinking it was caramel frapps the little store next to the old shophouse Inburi church sold us?* when we refused to let anyone else take our seats at the end of the songthiao?* when Thongdee kept buying you Kalabaus?* when you requested for permission to enter dorm 2446 to take the laptop?* when we stayed in the old house; dorm 2446, open dorm and dorm 7-11?* when you brought the wrong kind of charger, such that the videocam only lasted for 3 days?* when you were punished for taking a ride on a motorbike without permission that you were forced to cook a (lousy) breakfast of eggs and noodles?* when you walked around making all those hilarious videos? when we laughed through the night on good old funny memories such as candle and ruby?* when we tried doing an acapella of 'amazing grace'? when we worked so so hard to get the skit together? when i spilled my conditioner all over the kitchen floor? when we were in sync, making known God's words to all? when He touched our, or maybe only my life(s)?
The entire trip wasnt a blast like how TMT 2005 was, where we were all high and tripping, going from one energy high to another. It didnt have its signature poignant moments, where I would clearly take my jaunt down the memory lane and sigh how TMT 2006 was.
In a rather different approach, this time around, maybe I can rejoice in the fact that I took the effort to get to know my teammates more than superficially.
Like Kelvin, one very teachable guy, who becomes an MCP in an blink of an eye occasionally through the trip actually dislikes sausages (HOW CAN ANYONE HATE THAI SAUSAGES!! GOODNESS, but i digress.) Jason who comes across cocky and lazy is one nice and teachable guy who is insecure to a certain extent, if you watch him closely. Timonthy, get this, he jokes!! He is also extremely humble and forgiving against my harsh words, ala Kelvin and Jason. Reuel is sweet, and very patronising when I make him the joke target, which is when he retailiates with horrendous jokes. :) Ryan is silentlyyy helpful, well he tries very hard to be and he is quite the concerned one for everyone, i suppose. PASTOR SCRATCHED ME on the face and tried to silence me with a slice of cake at the airport, OF ALL THINGS!!! <3
The girls, the girls. Although terribly and ignorantly cliquish, they are very sweet and caring. Xiaoxi is straightforward, yet patient most of the time. Melissa is ever so helpful, sings really well, and gets ridiculously high! Nicole looks like a baby naked mole rat (hahah cute right! i told her she looked like one!) and makes really off comments that has me laughing to myself like an idiot. Louisa can get a tad odd with her seemingly tactless comments, but is one cool GEP-kid(hehe with really funny commands from her mother!!). Labelled BRITANICAmouth, Manda says the funniest shit, and does the most hilarious stuff (like making her baby pillow bow and say Satwatdeekah!!), not to mention always doing the shitwork quietly and alone. Eunice sleeps besides me, but yet ironically is my enemy; i hate her foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. <3 HAHAH.
But then again, perhaps it doesnt need to have any of those significant memorable moments, or be like any one of the past trips. Because this time God was so evidently present that it literally felt so surreal. It felt like home.
The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom should I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?
When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall.
Though an army beseige me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.
--
I spent the first day of 2007 in SGH's observation ward, with a stabbing pain my my abdomen, to which I audibly screamed and gasped for two hours straight.
If its not a Youtube video, it would be dripping with Emo wetness.
This is officially one of the sweetest songs I've heard, but the chords are way killer. http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/tabs/j/jack_johnson/better_together_ver4_tab.htm
Learn it and I'll swoon for you! (and Eunice will fight me for you! Wth!!) HAHAHHA
go through the same convo over and over again dissing people dressing in such a gros(pronouced ie, gross weight, as a nod to old pple) way feeling stupid feeling lousy feeling ugly (because you are ugly, fact) dissing people inwardly being a humongous big fat ugly lousy stupid brainless etiquetteless lifeless boring nobody.
i hate it when you do it because you are repulsive by nature.
Perhaps I wasnt meant for this place. Not perhaps. I am not meant for this place. This place is an in-between site for me, I should have reached where I am supposed to 5 years ago. Overlooking the first few toddler years I've had, the rest I grew up as an alien.
Riduculous. I am going to carry on my journey to where I am supposed to be.
He did nothing for me in his boyband and crymeariver days, but this one is truly incredible. Fusing R&B with a soulful trance, JT's hit the nail on its groovy head. And if you thought MJ circa 1990s was slick, boy genius JT will show you what slick really is.
Free -Hillsong Would you believe me if I said That we are the ones who can make the change In the world today? Would you believe me if I said That all of the dreams in your heart Can come true, today? Would you believe me if I said That life could be all that you want it to be, today?
And if I had wings I would fly 'Cause all that I need You are And if the world caved in around me To You i'd still hold on 'Cause You're all that I believe And the one that created me Jesus, because of You i'm free!!
Would you belive me if I said That God can make miracles happen today? Would you believe me if I said That you don't need to wait for the answer before You step out in faith? Would you believe me if I said... That nothing is ever impossible, for God?
And if I had wings I would fly Cause all that I need, You are. And if the world caved in round me To You I'd hold on Cause You're all that I believe And the one who created me Jesus, because of You, I'm free!
Just live you life with God inside You won't regret one moment of it And give all that you can for God, For God!
