ill say what i want - because i can

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

empty
and
deluded
and
angry
and
lonely

C at 9:17 AM |
------

hmmmmmm.
i was just thinking
life goes on
until you commit suicide.
hahaha.
i know, im deranged for some reason. or none even.

C at 9:00 AM |
------ Saturday, February 21, 2004

ha. i love that drama queen song! groovy.
so. i only had lessons on monday and a few here and there through the week. ick. had to lead warmup and cool down during mass pe. was thrusted into that role by my pe teacher. somehow i dun really like being in leadership roles, cause your kinda letting yrself be subjected to the opinions (nice and bitchy ones) of others who have no idea wad you really are like. that was a good rant. ahh. hahaha.
ok. so didnt really had school throughout the week, even friday. but we had to be cooped up in school in the smallest Lt from 3 till 9 for a five min performance at the end of everything. ridiculous? mighty yes. fun? grudgingly yeahhh. ended up having a barrel of laughs with my classmates, really got to know them more. :D
woke up late today. supposed to meet cs and sarah at 10, but woke up at 11. ha. ended up meeting them at 12.30. and stayed at the funorama till 6. it wasnt exactly fantastic, but it was the friends who were fab! :D.
hmm. this leads me to think about friends i totally gave up on. im friends again with one now, after a long time. another still regards me as a friend. but im beginning to feel there are several other friendships which i see no point in continuing.
so. ha. did anyone take a look at my nails? haha! they're awesome! and i seriously cant wait for ''confessions of a teenage drama queen'''!!! man is lindsay hot! ha.ha.ha. i like to think i resemble her in some ways. i am a teenage drama queen too afterall! ha!

C at 11:29 PM |
------ Friday, February 20, 2004

drama queen(that girl)
There was a girl I knew who always wanted to be the one to stand out from the crowd
Always believed that she was gonna live her dreams
That what when down was gonna come around
For all the doubters, non-believers, the cynicals that once were dreamers
One of these days you'll open up your eyes
And you'll realize

[Chorus]
That girl was a one time teenage drama queen
A hyped up everyday wannabee
But she'll have changed her destiny
Now she's a somebody
That girl was a wild child dreamer but she found herself
'Cause she believes in nothin' else And you'll look backa dn you won't believe
That girl was me

Armed with an attitude that she knows how to use
She's gonna get there any way she can
Now she knows what she wants
No one is gonna stop her
Nothing's ever gonna hold her down
For all the doubters, non-believers the cynicle that once were dreamers
One of these days you'll know that you were wrong (who would know)

[Spoken]
Life is a work of art- you gotta paint it colorful
Can make it anything you want
Don't have to stick to any rules
You don't need a high IQ to succeed in what you do
You just gotta have no doubt just believe in yourself

Doubters, non-believers, once were dreamers
One of these days you'll open up your eyes
And you'll realize

this song is rawking hard! totally brought me out of the trance i've been in these few days.
and that girl is me.
ha. hahaha. ha.

C at 9:42 AM |
------ Thursday, February 19, 2004

C at 9:14 PM |
------ Sunday, February 15, 2004

i've become oscar the grouch today, in spite of the celebration of v day today in church.
groused and sulked.
why? oh it was nothing much. i mean, sleeping less than 11 hrs in two days yet having to run a crosscountry (round a canal!!!) is easy. easy peasy. Not.
but it was a good two days.
vday was fun. if you define prowling bout town for a decent place to eat. haha. we ate at pastamania around 9 while chlorting so badly we took an hr to finish up. went nuts taking neoprints till 12 then i rush home. lucky for me my last bus leaves at 0032. my feet were aching from wearing that horrid pair of shoes. but. at least my feet looked good. haha.
i come home and finish up a book and make more of those vday heartshaped thingamajigs till 2.30. then showered and do qt till i dozed off.
had a woozy moment when i woke up. tummyached when i reached church. dozed off in service. had fun in youth. had fun again at raffles place.
but i seem to be watching the world pass me by, behind a glass panel seeing everything happen helplessly.

C at 10:42 PM |
------ Thursday, February 12, 2004

i feel so dead.
so tired.
and so tired of being tired.

C at 10:53 PM |
------ Tuesday, February 10, 2004

post post post.
this is overthetop desparation to get my posts to be seen.

C at 12:06 AM |
------ Monday, February 09, 2004

do i always have to post two times so that my first post can be seen?
awww crud.

C at 11:59 PM |
------

sent adelene off today. many pple were there too.
wondered for a moment whether that many would send me off to wherever whenever.
i guess not.
im so so tired.
feel like crawling into bed and just crying myself to sleep.

C at 11:58 PM |
------ Wednesday, February 04, 2004

i went to west coast park today.
skipped netball again even though the teacher-ic wanted to see the skipees.
but who even bothers?
i was so tired my bones were screaming in protest at every move i made, yet my friend had to keep pounding and hitting me throughout the day.
but. west coast was fun. became a kid once again, and belted hillsongs at the top of my voice. nobody was there to laugh at my singing.
exhilarating.
on another note. i wonder how much longer i can go on at pjc. its draining the life out of me.

C at 8:53 AM |
------ Monday, February 02, 2004

its feb!! haha. the first month of 2004 is overrr.
and i spent the second day of feb out of the house.
had a cg lunch in marche at 1345, 1 hr 45 mins later than the said time. oh wells. thats why we're cg5. ha-s.
then we took neoprints!! first time as a cg!! for me anyways.
then i headed downtown shopping for something for someone who's brithday is coming.
then i went to dpv for fun!! and it was. fun, that is.
did i mention that i havent gone to school for the last five days?
ahhh. liberation.
but then again, there's not gonna be any more public hols till tha march term break.
bummer.

C at 10:22 PM |
------ hits. since 041104