Wednesday, October 27, 2004

im losing all my friends.
one by one.
true, im doing a-okay in school, but friendship-wise, im almost down to my last penny.
one friend became a stranger because i changed.
another left because of well, nothing.
more are leaving when the situation calls; soon, too soon.
the very last one who was there from the beginning, is leaving for another country. she may still be around, but every single moment i feel her walking away from this friendship.
and i am helpless.
sometimes i want to run home, throw myself on my bed and sob to my heart's content.
sometimes, the sometimes becomes all the time.
but then i realise that its no use.
cause at the end of the day,
i will still be alone.

C at 1:53 AM |
------ Tuesday, October 26, 2004

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
school's gonna be out this week!!!!
and i am heading off to thailand and shanghai.
im darn pleased with myself. how fabulous is that; im able to wear two diff seasons of clothes in one month!!
hahaahahhaha.
if im not wrong..
15 - 19th Nov - Thailand.
25 - 3rd Dec - Shanghai
till then, im willing to help you pple buy stuff from over there!!
(: im in a super good mood.
so ask ask ask awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
KBOX was AWESOME!!! i never jumped, screamed and sobbed so much and happily in my life. thank god for friends like that. they are Chow Chia Sin, Chan Pei Yu, Chen Yan Fei and Michelle Lu Zeng Hui. hahahaha. now you know who they are. cheers! i love them loads.

C at 2:53 AM |
------ Thursday, October 21, 2004

i havent been blogging for months. exxageration, i know.
just that somehow gradually, the idea of putting down my thoughts for the whole to view, seemed a little invasive of my own privacy. well. not that i have much.
sigh. no privacy, and not even the power to follow through on my own decisions.
see, i wanna head off to sentosa tml, and skip school.
apparently, a tyrant refuses to allow me so.
the simple reason: we have to finish up on our pw op.
what do i mentally say to that? FUCK off. please.
i do make an effort to be polite, but im tied down by my desire to please. so hence, im not going to sentosa, though i need a serious break from this bleeding school. [ARGH. im so darn repulsed by almost everything and its taking strong restrain not to break out shouting and swearing at everyone around. ]
and when i want to leave early today and skip pw and gp, im forcefully persuaded to stay. i kept mum to that, until it bursts out of me and i rant incessantly how sick i am of this freaking depressing place with blatant ignorance and pleasure at seeing the obvious discomfort displayed by the tyrant.
this entry's verbose, i know. please try not to read if you hear a hollow sound when you hit your head. this constitutes bout 75% of you bloggers out there.
so im being a bitch now. who cares.

C at 10:09 AM |
------ Monday, October 11, 2004

when i said ''im trusting you'', i meant it. i never doubted yr words, even when yr record was bLACK.
i believed you, even when others tried telling me a different tale.
i accepted yr statement, without any questions.
i trusted you without a doubt.
you like saying everyone doesnt trust you, and here i am, giving you all my trust.
but when circumstances claim otherwise, i would still like to stand by yr word.
unless.
your word was a total lie to begin with.
so tell me, does yr word stand or not?

C at 3:36 AM |
------ Friday, October 01, 2004

do you remember
when we played silly games at the back of the song tiao?
when i drank close to 5 pints of water cause i was a lousy player?
when we played bridge and tai dee every night?
when i finally mastered the opening lines to qing tian on the guitar in 10days?
when we danced our hearts out to 'worthy'?
when we sat around the stone tables and chatted with the school girls in thachang withayakarn school?
when we snuck off to the school canteen to get desert?
when we switched shoes and limped around the whole day?
when we got trashed and demolished by a one-man volleyball team?
when we spent the entire night giggling and pouncing instantly at the same time when jennifer walked by?
when we spoke in low low tones chitchatting through the night with one faulty torchlight?
when we sat in the hall wrapping presents while i got to do the penning of the christmas song lyrics?
when i skipped every brekkie but the first, and everyone had to drag me out of bed?
when we sat through a grueling hour of keith autobiogrpahy part ONE?
when we washed our jeans and socks with powder and sponges in the garden?
when i watched you style keith's hair to no avail?
when you slept one whole night under the synthesizer?
when we rushed through the entire shopping mall in search for stuff to bring home?
when we laughed at those silly and ridiculous rumours?
when we hosted the christmas concert together?
when you wrote goodbye notes to every single one of us?
when i bawled like a baby at wat klang school?
when we played scrabble under the dim light and thousands of insects got stuck in your hair?
when we got delighted at the little makeshift stall opposite Kfc?
when we sulkily arrvied at the airport, unwilling to depart?
when we got tricked by somkiat and his amazing 'thailand's plastic manufacturing industry''?
when i chased pong around just so the lesson would get started?
when 'when the night has come' became an instant hit?
when those girls went all giggly over you and you hid in the teachers' room?
when we travelled into the market?
when you walked around making all those hilarious videos?
when we tried doing an acapella of 'amazing grace'?
when we worked so so hard to get the skit together?
when i spilled my conditioner all over the kitchen floor?
when we were in sync, making known God's words to all?
when He touched our, or maybe only my life(s)?

i do, i remember these all.
do you?

C at 11:06 AM |
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