ill say what i want - because i can

Monday, December 27, 2004

today i did emerge from my bed to attend cpc's fmaily day at east coast.
the day had a rocky start, but i reached there, nonetheless.

and cause of the foul mood that had intensified during this two days, when i was playing ultimate frisbee, i kinda lashed out at joshua.
not directly into his face, mind you.
but when he wanted to substitue someone in my team, i yelled something along the lines of
'WE DONT NEED THIS REPLACEMENT'
'THERE'S NO POINT HAVING A REPLACEMENT LIKE THIS'

boy was i a fucking bitch.
joshua turned out horrible at tossing the frisbee, but he was good at defense.
i did compliment him. but i felt like an utter hypocrite.

"And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye , but do not consider the plank in your own eye? .. Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck out of your brother's eye." Matthew 7: 3, 5

WHAT KIND of christian have i become?!

i repulse my very ownself.

C at 2:04 AM |
------ Saturday, December 25, 2004

NOTICE : shell for sale.

additional information: the owner of this shell is tired of the world and even though she wishes to acheive self-actualisation, she's decided to do so in her bed.yes, in her bed. she's gonna stay in her warm, comfortable and secure bed and hide from the world. also, the owner is painfully aware that her shell isnt exactly pretty, so she's most likely to take the first offer. and the reason she's putting her shell up for sale? using her favourite actress's song's lyrics aptly, she says 'its just me, against the world. and the world is winning.'

C at 11:20 PM |
------ Thursday, December 23, 2004

hmm. ho ho hooo

score one for me!

you turn around and react in the most immature and irrational way you possibly can.

and so i end up having to say

score TWO for charissa tan. take that.

C at 2:10 AM |
------ Wednesday, December 22, 2004

fool me once, shame on you

fool me twice, shame on me.

i like that quote. alot alot.

C at 1:46 AM |
------ Sunday, December 19, 2004

today i got myself seething mad.
and i wondered why.
was it..
a. because things hadnt gone my way?
b. cause i felt like i had been totally brushed off?
c. cause this occured on the day i slept at 5am and awoke at 8? or
d. cause anonymous was simply being obstinately selfish?

i was so mad i almost started sobbing.
then i steeled myself, because there was NO WAY i was about to let my mascara run in public. hahaha. honest.

i know i will simply forget what im griping about when i read this in the future. ok. so this is about the EP camp - being too much? thats all i'll divulge. for now, i myself feel extremely reluctant to go for the EP camp.

and today, things were a lil off. now, i get over things rather quickly, and start my laughing again.
but. the grudge grows. HOHO.
or maybe im get too tired for confrontation.

enough of depressing or unhappy stuff. cause my blog is meant to be a HAPPY BLOG! :)

hmm. today during/after the polarbear game, janelle's face was a lil black. i hope she wasnt pissed or anything! :) smile. you have to smile while reading this HAPPY BLOG! hoho.

poo. verbal diarrhoea threathens to occur. literal diarrhoea too. single-file evacuation for me now. ha. time for me to brainstorm out another set of christmas cards.

ps: my christmas wishlist. all books. humour me please, even though its evident no one would get me anything.

the Princess Present by Meg Cabot
Pretty in Pink, the Princess Diaries series by Meg Cabot
the Ruling Class by Francine Pascal (no, i havent outgrown her)
Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen by IDK&IDC (i dont know and i dont care)
Artemis Fowl's Diary by Eoin Colfer
Marykate and Ashley Olsen 2005 CALENDAR!!!!! :D
kill me please by Charissa Tan.

dont laugh at my choice of books.im really serious here. my mind cant really take anymore cranial activity.

PPS: SWONG! WHY HAVENT I SEEN YOU LATELY? i even put my PPS in Pink for you!!! bahhhhh. with all my friends, im THE bitch. thats WHY i need you to be THE bitch with me!! hahahaha. :D

PPPS: my NEWEST best friend is Peachy Pie. haah. hmmm. make that my only friend. im saying this in a matter-of-fact tone, not a totally depressed and dejected one. this is a HAPPY BLOG, remember? :D so dont come asking me what's wronggggg? bahhh. just scramm off.

C at 9:21 PM |
------ Friday, December 17, 2004

snap.
just like that, with a snap of my fingers.
ive gotten a new best friend.
hahahahah. amazing, aint it.
i guess i really shouldnt label this friendship cause im gonna jinx it somehow.
somehow, someway, i always do.
no point really.
so this time round, even though ive done it so many times,
im gonna surrender it to God. and pray that this time i wouldnt lose this friend.
poo.

i quite realise that when i dont do in***** v****ing, i get to stay this weight, or even lose some. surprising.
the voices in my head are wrong afterall.
but it really feels good.

C at 2:27 AM |
------ Wednesday, December 15, 2004

im back from shanghai.

but i dont feel like blogging anymore.

C at 5:01 PM |
------ Thursday, December 02, 2004

rawrrrrrrrrrr. i have no idea why all my other posts have disappeared.

anyways. while i was tossing and turning in bed last time,

i realised that i endured an entire year of verbal abuse last year.
and while im strong enough to go through that, im becoming a weak piece of crap now, bounded down by retarded probelms and invisible friends.
so what im gonna say to all those trash is :

BUGGER OFF all you sodding bullshit.

and im going to be MYSELF, all over again. :D

C at 1:51 AM |
------ hits. since 041104