i SWEAR IF I DONT EAT ENOUGH TO MAKE MYSELF BLOAT ENORMOUSLY WITH PURE INDULGENT SATISFACTION RIGHT NOW ill forever be amazed with myself for the show/lack of selfcontrol i possess.
and ill hate myself if i fulfill the above wish and end up worshipping the porcelain goddess.
yeah and i really helps seeing the fact i enjoy frequenting foodblogs >daily basis.
fuck man.
at the risk of sounding repulsively cliched, i am searching for myself; desparately waiting for self-actualisation to occur.
as of now my mind is in a very material state of assessment, where i judge myself based on the statistical value of what i have/am.
which is quite sad really, cause its really quite superficially despicable seeing the fact that ive actually been caught by the careless traps Mammon has spun.
so this is the life i have now, and i dont mind it a single bit, cause i feel like im in a totally different timezone/space bubble/ from everyone else.
and if you think im not whom you thought i used to be, either you get some guts and tell it to my face(the way i told someone at work that 'i dont think you have any work ethics at all'), or you suck it up and deal.
in all defense i do realise i need a total reality check, but just not now.
>>directed to noone in particular, but definitely feel free to comment.
I JUST BAKED LEMON MUFFINS AND ATE 6 IN A ROWWW
not good, not good.
but tasty!
200g of flour
100g of brownsugar + white sugar
60g of salted butter
zest of 1 lemon
juice of 1 lemon + enough milk = 120ml
1 egg
combine all and bake at 200degreescelcius for about 11mins to get about 40 golden perfectly tasty ones, or 12 mins for 40 goldenbrown muffins with crisptops!
adapted from nigella's how to be a domestic goddess!
FIRST time im rather satisfied with a recipe from her book! now back for ONE more muffin. i cant help it!!!
ive jumped onto the bandwagonnnnn
and
voila!
http://kevan.org/johari?name=HAHArainbow
and
http://kevan.org/nohari?name=HAHArainbow
:D yes i quite like the name HAHArainbow. now do me this favour pretty please!<3
the bag thats been driving me NUTS!!!!
just the other day a lady walked by with it hanging off her elbow and i uttered a freaking shellshocked 'OMG' cause i totally never expected it to appear anywhere in singapore!!!!!! that being said, i hope no taitais actually realise how utterly gorgeous and chic it is(like the one who was carrying it!!!!!!) and i get a slim chance from nowhere in purchasing it!!
<3<3<3
hahahahaahahah honestly i almost grabbed the lady's shoulder and wanted to demand where, how much and how on earth did she get it. and then after that i proceeded to ramble deliriously to my leading ba only to watch her give me a patronising smile in return for my absolute dorkiness!!!!!
this bag is something i am gladly kissing ass for!!!!!! though im not so sure whether my MAC addiction would allow for it.
sigh.
oh marc jacobs and your gorgeous stam bag in patent blanc/noir!!!
----
thursday night(i think)
i was on the comp while hilary was watching male ice-skaters(i think, HAHA) and i asked her what event it was
hilary: dont knowww
on screen one guy slips and falls on his butt on ice and i gasped when i saw that only to get
hilary: aiyah nvm its ok; they all also like that.
me: HUH but isnt it a compeitition!?!?
so we switch places; me on the floor and hilary on the comp and as i watch i realised that there are 1290384 places where the 5 interlocking rings motif was plastered and
me: DOH HILARY!!! ITS THE OLYMPICS!! how come you never realised?!?! and all of the compeititors fell down, at the OLYMPICS!!! WTH IS GOING ON ITS THE OLYMPICS!!!!!! (rant rant rantttttttt)
hilary: huh really meh, i didnt know that.
i laughed my esophagus out.
I AM HAPPY LIKE A FREAKING HIPPO CAUSE IN FEBUARY ALONE IVE MANAGED TO AMASS
mac eyeshadown in browndown
mac lipstick in strawberry blonde
mac lipstick in freckletone
mac LE thunder quad
mac glitterliner in spunsilver
mac glitterliner in saucepot
mac glitterliner in mercuric
mac glitter in red
mac tinttoonsTLC in cleo's coral kiss
mac tinttoonsTLC in tempting tillie
mac tinttoonsTLC in coquettish clarice
yeah its definately safe to say all the money ive earned reliefing is being poured down MAC'S coporate throat. hehehehee
HAHAHAHAHAHH
call me a MACWHORE and ill dance a little happy jig for youuuu <3
and, i actually NEED MORE.
THE END OF FEB IS COMING AND SO ARE THE NEW COLLECTIONS!!!!! <3<3<3<3
----
if you feel the need to support MY mac-craze, come buy stuff from me.
saturday(18th feb): centrepoint
sunday: takashimaya
monday: takashimaya
and i might actually love you foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr <3
ive been avoiding a certain place cause for some reason for another the thought of returning there doesnt really send excited tingles up my spine. it might be a habit, routine or a must for others, but i suppose for me, it has graduated from a habit to something of my preferance.
soemtimes when i enter that place, i feel terribly out of place. at other times, i feel myself getting really disappointed(or even repulsed) with the people i encounter there. true, nobody's perfect, but i suppose i thought so much better of them before i got to interact with them.
i know for sure one day i would have to return, because my absence would guarantee an interogation or some sort from the parental unit(from many sides), and frankly, im not sure that even if i do, whether my heart will be in it.
i do feel out of sorts not keeping up with this habit ive had for almost my whole life, but i suppose slowly, ill find my own way back. but definately no chop and no 3/6/9/12 months guarantee. but honestly, i doubt anyoen really notices my presence, or currently, the lack of it.
----
sounds depressing, i know. but only when i purge my deep, dark and boring thoughts here then i can be vivacious irl. ;)
but right now i think im on the verge of tears. not exactly sure why either.
its the only first 9 days of Febuary and ive already spent
- 43.50$: tempting tillie tlc + freckletone l/s (heheeheheheh 20% off :)
- 13.50$: mac red glitter (HAH 50% offfffffffff :))))))))
- 30$: glitterliner in spunsilver! (MAJOR WHEEE!!!!!!!!!!)
- 30$: mercuric g/l
which boils down to 117$ on MAC ALONE.
with a pending $80(if i get the discount!!!) for the icon thunder quad and strawberry blonde l/s! SIGH. and prolly will get worse as the kabuki brush, 187, pinkphonic g/l and the freaking CULTUREBLOOM COLLECTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh my. come buy biotherm from me!!!! ;) and ill love you forever!!! look out for me at Taka, Centrepoint, or Paragon!
i have no idea what ive gotten myself into.
i feel like crying.
I WANT A MJ PATENT STAM BAG IN IVORY OR BLACK!!!
or my heart will bleed :'(
ive stopped smiling and laughing unless i decide to patronise you.
:[ im lost, confused and seemingly alone.